Zzzzz is my favourite letter

Eng 11 Short Story

I don’t know from where to begin. I've been through so much that I don’t even remember what exactly happened. I wish this never happened. I wish I never met you. You broke my heart more than Juliet broke Romeo's heart.

It was 5 years ago when I met you. You sparked me with those eyes, personality and figure. You sat beside me in Philosophy class. The way you listened, took notes and the times you would look at me from the corner of your eye would catch my breath. These were my inner feelings, yet nobody knew about them. I knew how to disguise them. But, you were obvious. You would give me the looks that a long time lover has had. It seemed that we both sparked each other somehow, yet none of us would step in and start talking, until the time that we were assigned to do a research paper. I wish we never did that paper together. It was exactly 7 months after we first met. Unfortunately it turned out to be the best paper in the university. We won several awards for it. This was the beginning of our journey. From then, everyone encouraged us to publish a new one. I remember exactly what our Professor, Mr. Smith said:

"I'm proud to have you two in my classroom. You guys make an amazing team. With the help of each other you guys can go far."

It seemed that destiny changed its direction and located us on the corner of its first turn. I was happy. I was living in the moment. I couldn't ask for more. I met my one of a kind soul mate and I was publishing successful papers. There was nothing I could complain about. I would thank God every night for what he had granted to me. You were the man of my dreams. You had nothing that I could possibly dislike. You were smart, nice, generous and most important of them all a handsome being and you loved me for who I was. I loved it when you would text me every morning saying “The sun is out my gorgeous Danielle" Every day you would come up with a different adjective, which would start the race of butterflies in my stomach. I should've known that you were well trained and had lots of experiences in flirting. But you know what “You turn blind when you are in love.” That was exactly what I should've known but what can I say I was "blind”!

Time passed by and I would fall in love with you more every day. Three years had vanished in an instant. Yes, three years has gone by and we were still with each other. Everyday extra heat would be accumulated to our relationship until the time we were doing our research paper the night before its due date. Thus, we decided to stay in late and try to do any finishing touches in the lab. Suddenly you said “Danielle! LOOK AT WHAT EMAIL I JUST RECIEVED FROM THE TOP 10 BEST RESEARCH PAPER COMMITEE!" I was so shocked that I split my coffee on the table and rushed over to look at your laptop screen where I saw “Will you be my one and only forever?” That was where you got on your knees and surprised me with a ring. I was speechless. To be honest, I used to think about this day but I never thought that it would come to reality. I felt like a little kid approaching an ice cream truck after a long winter. I shouted, “YES.” My whole life changed with that one stupid “yes.”

Life was amazing until the day you got a cold. I thought it would be a normal cold, but, this was different. You were feeling worse day after day. So we decided to go check in with the doctor. After a week of going back and forth between the doors of different doctors in the clinic and doing many tests, the results came out. You, my one and only Josh lost both of your kidneys. I never seen this happen among my family or friends or anybody that I knew off. I had no idea what to do. Having met with your doctor lost me even more. He told me that you will only survive approximately 3 months. My heart stopped for a minute. My lovely soul mate, best friend, the one I share my life with, the one that I depend on, the one that I shared my night’s writings papers will only survive for 3 months. Feeling dead inside I had to pretend that everything was fine. The first thing I did was to search for a kidney, but it was impossible. You had the rarest blood type. There were no kidneys for O- blood type. Wondering around for a month looking for a kidney was a failure. There were no kidneys to be found. Not thinking about any backup plans, I decided to go check what blood type I was. It was funny how my entire life I never gave a blood test. I didn’t know what my blood type was until this day that I was 28 years old. After a day, the result came out and I was informed that I have O- blood type. Happy that I was an option but wait no how could I give one of my kidneys. How would I survive? No, I couldn’t risk my life for you, but yes I must. My kidney was your only option of survival. Feeling uncertain of what to do, I decided to have a talk with your doctor. He told me that it would be too risky. There were many possible side effects for the both of us. We may be diagnosed with a disease to live with the rest of our lives if we did the transplant.

I was going insane. I had no idea who to share this with. I was lonely in my nights with nobody's arm around to protect me, nor shoulders to cry on. I had spent three days in my cozy corner , deciding on what to do. Risk both of our lives or one? But without you there would be no me anyways. Hence, I went in the next morning, certain for the transplant. Everybody informed me that this was too risky. But it was too late, nobody could persuade me. I was ready to do this. After a 6 hour surgery, we both came out alive and the transplant turned out to be a success. I was happy and pleased, even though I am aware that I would be facing difficulties later on my life. At least I knew that there was someone beside to share it with.

Few months passed and we were living our normal lives. You were healthier than before but it was me that faced lots of obstacles during my days. I had lots of difficulties but I felt okay since I still had you by my side. Your existence was more important than mine; therefore I handled my pain. My love for you was the reason why I could remain standing. It was 4 months after the transplant that we were assigned a presentation for our research paper. With a confident mind, we went in the conference room. Following the presentation we met a lady named Fiona Johnson. She was the head representative of Yale University. My woman senses notified me that something is going on when I came into the conversation, but I ignored it, I thought I was being too picky. But, no I wasn’t. From the information that I saw on your phone and emails, I could sense this is not a normal thing. I asked you “Josh, how come you got so close with Fiona?" And you cried “Why are you being asking? She is a wonderful person and has lots of connections with other universities and profs" I tried to give up on this idea and changed the conversation. After a few months you went to Yale for a "research assignment" without me. That’s when you never came back. That’s when I realized I was right, but why did I hide it? All these months I was well aware that something is building up between us. There was this wall, building up, growing taller and taller and yet I just looked and didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to ruin our. After two months of your departure to Yale you emailed me:

“Danielle, I always knew that there was this one person that is meant to be with me forever. I thought I found her when I saw you but, I was wrong. You never even said I love you, you never cared about me and you never would pay attention to what my needs were. You only cared about yourself. But, now that I am away and far from you I feel that I am happier than ever. I think we were never meant to be. So ... Bye"

I was such a fool that fell for your words. I loved you for who you were. I feel ashamed of myself. I wasted my life over you. I thought you were my true love. You made me happy and I couldn't ask for more. I put my own life at risk to save you from your hospital on your fair willing days. You never thanked me for that. You never found out that it was my kidney that saved you. You were so selfish; you were the one who never cared about me. Where were you when I couldn't eat or digest food? Where were you when I needed help? Nowhere to be found. One's words are worth nothing if they don’t believe in it. Millions of people say "I LOVE YOU" everyday but do they all mean it? Yes, I knew I didn't say my feelings out loud often, but I showed you that I loved you. I gifted a part of my own body to you. I don’t think there should be anything more precious available on this planet. I shared my heart with you. You were on the front line of death where I turned to every door to save you. Did you ever see what I was going through? I wonder what could really be the true meaning of love. The pain that hurts the most was getting used and then getting stabbed by the one that I truly trusted. It’s hard expressing your emotions when there remains nobody in your life. Here I am again lonelier and sicker than ever and yet nothing to say...

I believe the purpose of life is to appreciate and explore every aspect of it. Whether that would be walking down on a beach or reading a book, everybody has to enjoy their life with what they believe suits them the best.

Depending on the situation my attitude may change. In the times that I’m in Vancouver I tend to have a sedentary attitude most of time, but my desire is to be active. Being physical can be anything that involves me moving and having a good time. Walking around UBC and enjoying the views can be a minimum movement that I can achieve. Nevertheless, the option I tend to choose most of time is spending time with my friends. On the other hand, when I go for vacation I tend to have a physical lifestyle. I consider sitting at a hotel or just sitting by a beach to be a waste of time. Therefore, I lean to explore every part of the city. I take many pictures of every interesting scene I bump into, since I would like to capture my joyful moments. Where I am transforms my attitude and desire to accomplish tasks.

I would like to enjoy every part of the city that I’m living in, but I always have other priorities that alter what decision I go for. I am very sure that there are still many elements of Vancouver that I have not discovered yet. Hopefully I would be able to manage my schedule to spend more time outside. Since, I am well aware of benefits that I will obtain.